Itching Ears, Seducing Spirits part 2

All the explanations make sense when rooted in an anecdote. If you haven’t already, head over to part 1 of this series to catch up. It is important to understand that the area in which you desire deeply is the area by which you are most prone to deception. Do not be so desperate where you are left vulnerable, and therefore willing to settle for anything, then wanting God to endorse it on the back end. I’m telling you from experience, allow yourself to be processed by God because when He grants your request, know that you are mature enough to manage it.

Now, grab a mug: this tea is hot.

During this particular time I was in a spiritual bootcamp in journeying to hear God. It was an enlightening and exciting experience. I was receiving clear directions in my time with Him and I saw visible results from what I was hearing. He was also revealing things to me about others where I would go before the Lord in intercession for them.

Towards the end of 2019 I met a man, who I will call Travis, at a church friend’s birthday dinner. God used him to teach me one of my most valuable lessons. Although I saw him around at church, I had my first conversation with him that day. After having said conversation, I left the dinner with the thought,“I think I met my husband.” It wasn’t a life changing conversation. It was a stimulating, spiritual conversation that was not about my physical features which was quite refreshing as previous situation-ships have centered on physical attraction.

There were many opportunities to connect with Travis as he was in my church’s young adult group. We exchanged numbers and by February 2020 we went on our first coffee date. From the beginning, he was reticent about how he felt and getting him to admit that was like pulling teeth without anesthesia. He insisted on concealing it from people and didn’t want anyone to know about our connection. In my blindness, I didn’t see that behavior as the red flag it truly was. I, instead, justified it as him wanting to be private; but if anyone wants to hide what is happening to maintain an image and avoid accountability, that is a sign to let them go.

We kept our distance for the most part in the beginning, keeping conversation to mainly text and in person interaction at church until we kissed and the subsequent psychological/spiritual warfare ensued. We started to hang out more often-ish for the following reason: Travis exhibited this “push-pull” behavior that I found to be infuriating. He would push me away that triggered the urge in me to be overwhelming in my communication because I was deprived of communication. I would then be so frustrated with reaching out for a few days that I would stop altogether, then he would reach out where I would express my frustration and he would deflect and it would be all good until the next time. A vicious cycle.

As we were getting emotionally entangled with time, God hadn’t stopped speaking to me, but I was presumptuously attaching everything He was saying about my husband to Travis. I say presumptuously because I didn’t sit to ask for clarification. I thought I already knew. Even things I heard that I knew did not apply to Travis, I made it apply to fit what I was already thinking. That was the influence of a seducing spirit. Seducing spirits do not possess you; they influence you. It will look appealing too because somehow you have roped God into the reasoning, so it’s subtle. One step outside of what God wants and you have begun to walk in disobedience.The material seducing spirits have to work with is in the realm of your desire, and unfortunate to say your trauma weakens your ability to be sober in decision making so it can be easy for you to be drawn away.

There was one situation I remember vividly where I was praying from 12am-1am. That was the season that the Lord had me praying during that hour and I remembered he called me in that hour. Something said, “it’s okay, just pick it up.” And I did. We ended up having an hour long conversation through my designated prayer hour and I went to sleep soon after. At that moment I prioritized my phone conversation with Travis above what the Lord said and I justified it by having us pray over the phone.

*turn to your neighbor and say, “it’s not the same thing.”

Anyway, boundaries were crossed time and time again, and in my reasoning I deemed it was okay because he was finally opening up, I mean, how else would I get to know my husband, right? Another lie. Every justification had me deeper in a mess.

I remember I finally got fed up with the limbo with Travis. It was July 2020 and at that point there were too many red flags to ignore. Travis told me explicitly he didn’t want to be an item but he wanted to be more than friends. Now if that’s not a man playing in your face, I don’t know what is.

That’s the moment I truly woke up to what was going on even though I did not want to admit how dire the situation had gotten emotionally and I really needed guidance. I reached out to my mentor at the time, who is a prophetess. She literally by the help and hand of God delivered me out of the situation once I decided that situation wasn’t for me. But first I had to decide. The situation left me in such a state of confusion; at this point I was in full fledge partnership with these seducing spirits that I was truly convinced that this man was it, despite his failure to show any indication that he was husband material. The difficulty in letting go was that by my trauma I was searching for a father who wouldn’t leave. However as trauma would have it, it obscured and muddied my “chooser” and I contrived situations that reinforced the narrative I’ve been telling myself or replaying my whole life. My need for unconditional love was triggered by rejection and/or distance and translated to me that I needed to try harder to be loved. The enemy saw that hole and exploited. God saw the same hole and revealed to me His plan to restore me if I chose to remain close to Him.

My mentor walked me through a deep deliverance where the spiritual bonds were broken; she prescribed isolation to undergo the intense emotional restoration by the Holy Spirit and I was able to move on without looking back except to exhort.

You may ask, so how do you know that the person you are with now is the person you were supposed to marry?

The answer is the law of first mention. While this theological term often refers to the first time a word is used/seen in scripture and dictates the context by which that term or word is to be understood in scripture, I am applying that term to my own life. In 2016 when I was in a relationship with my now husband, the Holy Spirit used my mouth to prophesy over my own life. Out of my own mouth I said, “You and John will break up for two years and then you will get back together and then you will get married.” This declaration troubled me as John and I were a year into an amazing relationship and I didn’t see how or what would cause us to break up. I couldn’t foresee how or when this would happen. I knew I couldn’t even tell John what I was told so I decided to tuck it away: if it is God, it will surely come to pass, and if it wasn’t God, then it doesn’t matter. In 2018, we broke up. In 2020, we got back together and got married.

All the words that I received from the Lord down to the DAY that my husband and I reconnected, I thought was about Travis. If I didn’t have a true prophet of God connected to my life, my life would have gone a completely different direction with a lot of time wasted.

Travis was everything I thought I wanted in a man to be my husband. He was older so I equated that to more wisdom — I grew to learn that two are not synonymous; he was popular; he was doing evangelism and also seemingly taking younger men under his wing. From afar these were characteristics I thought I wanted in my husband. In close proximity, I came to discover that the compromising situations I was in with this man proved to me that this man was not it. A husband is supposed to be your covering, but all I did was get exposed. A man who wants you should also value you as a person but I also understood that although he knew better being older, I also teach people how to treat me. My need to be loved, albeit superficial, superseded my own self respect that I overlooked important violations of my boundaries. This is why inner healing is crucial.

I thank God that in His love and expression of mercy toward me He didn’t allow for me to get too far out there. I am eternally grateful and I see why the enemy fought me in this area of my relationship so hard. Failed relationships/marriages ran in my family and I decided to be different. If you dare to be different in your family believe there will be a fight. God will always get the glory as you grow in maturity.

The Lord will use every situation to reveal you to yourself so that by His grace you can submit that area to Him and He will work in yourself the character of Jesus to be conformed to His image. Amen.

Signed,

Dani J.